So, if asked the question, "Do you love your wife?", most men would give you a puzzled look, followed by, "Of course! What kind of question is that?" But since accepting Jesus into my heart, I look at this question differently. Of course you love your wife. You wouldnt have married her if you didnt. But do you love your wife the way God intended you too? Do you love her the way Jesus loved you? How about the way you love your kids? See, I used to believe that "Love" was supposed to be perfect, or just right. Like I feel way too many people think, that if your relationship with your wife is hard, or difficult, or if you're having to work hard, that you're not in the right situation. I can tell you that this type of thinking nearly cost me my wife and family. And I believe its the reason that the divorce rate is at an all time high. I know in my heart that at one time, my wife no longer believed we were meant to be together. And this was completely my fault, because I had taken her for granted. I did not treat her with the respect she deserves, I did not give her the credit for doing all the things she does as a wife and mother. Since accepting Jesus into my heart, and reading the "Owner's Manual", or the Bible for those of you who dont have the pleasure of listening to Barry preach, I have found a much truer, deeper love for my wife. Because, Jesus was the ultimate example of love, and as Christians we should all strive to be as close to Him as we can! I have learned that true love, Godly love, isn't supposed to be some "fairytale". You've never talked to a couple whos been married for 50, 60, 70 years and heard them talk about how perfect its all been. They speak about "working at it, working together, and loving each other through the difficult times." My definition of true love now is, loving someone with all of your heart, soul, body, and mind, loving them when its easy, as well as when times are hard, loving someone so much that you are willing to fight through adversity with them, not quit and run to find someone else more perfect, or "easier to deal with." There has only been one perfect person to walk the face of this Earth ever, so I'd say your chances of finding a perfect spouse are pretty slim, dont you think?!? To truly love your wife, I feel that even though you love them different than you love your children, you should love her with the same conviction and effort that you love your children. If your children are difficult to live with at times, or aggravate you at times, or do things that you dont approve of, or make mistakes, or just get to a point as teenagers (which im nowhere near ready for!) that they dont like or agree with how you are raising them, you dont just throw in the towel, and say, "Thats it, I cant do this anymore! Im going to find some different kids who are easier to live with!" I know, that sounds ridiculous and proposterous! But people do it to their spouses every single day! What if Jesus had decided, "You know what, you people just wont listen, your too difficult, Im tired of trying this hard for you all!" Where would we be if He didnt love us unconditionally the way he did! Not somewhere I'd want to be! I believe if we spent more time reading and learning the Bible, and a little less time with Walt Disney, we might realize that their is no perfect fairytale life, and God expects you to have enough respect for you wife, to work at your relationship, and to fight to keep her. The way Jesus loved us, worked for us, fought for us, and eventually died to save us! This is our ultimate example of true love! It wasnt easy, or perfect, or trouble free. Far from it! I can tell you I have several great examples in my family of true love. I could tell you about my Ma-Ma and Pa-Pa, or Gramma and Grampa Fosdick, or Robbie and Judy Carroll, or, well, I could name many. But my biggest influences, easily my Mother and Father. Now I know what youre probably thinking, "Rick, they got divorced 25 years ago! This is your example?!?!" Wow, I feel old after typing that last sentence, ouch. Ok, back on topic!! Yes, my Mom and Dad, because they have told me forever, the biggest mistake they made in their marriage was that they didnt fight for each other. They are both remarried now, living their lives in true Christian relationships, while always keeping God in the center of their marriages. See, they have not only shown me what not to do, but how to do it the right way as well! I will be the first person to tell you, that there are times when no person on this earth could drive me as batty as my wife can! But she is my wife, the mother of my children, and my partner for life. I love her with all of my being. As I said earlier, there has only ever been one perfect person to walk this Earth, and it certainly wasnt me! I still argue with my wife over silly things, and we certainly dont get along all the time, or agree all the time. But I know that she is who I will be with for the rest of my life. I know that when she is gone, i feel empty. She truly was designed by God to complete me, and I am so thankful everyday that the Lord opened my eyes to allow me to see it. I vow to respect her enough as the woman God made for me, to fight for her, to love her unconditionally, to never give up on her, or walk out on her. I believe people who have been around us long enough, can see a difference in the way Sutherland and I live together, talk to each other, and work together to raise our girls in a Christian home. Of course, I constantly have to remind myself to calm down, respect her, fight for her, etc., because the Devil will always try to take your joy from you. He does this by trying to get you to love yourself more than others. But remember, God will always win! Keep him centered in your relationship, and the Devil can do nothing to destroy what God has his hands on!! So, if you can take all this into consideration, think about our ultimate example of love, Jesus Christ, and all he did for us, and ask youself this question again, "Do you love your wife?" See the question a little differently now? I hope this gives some of you different perspective, or a whole new outlook on love, or maybe just piques your interest enough to open your Bible and learn more about God's expectations of you. In any case, thank you for reading this, and go tell your wife you love her, fight FOR HER, not WITH HER! Love you guys. Thanks for your time.
I LOVE YOU SUTHERLAND!
-Rick
P.S. - I suppose any of you wives reading this could change "wife" to "husband", but Im no preacher, and cant give all perspectives. All I know how to speak on is my perspective, which is to speak about loving my wife.
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