Loving God, Loving your Wife.

So, if asked the question, "Do you love your wife?", most men would give you a puzzled look, followed by, "Of course! What kind of question is that?" But since accepting Jesus into my heart, I look at this question differently. Of course you love your wife. You wouldnt have married her if you didnt. But do you love your wife the way God intended you too? Do you love her the way Jesus loved you? How about the way you love your kids? See, I used to believe that "Love" was supposed to be perfect, or just right. Like I feel way too many people think, that if your relationship with your wife is hard, or difficult, or if you're having to work hard, that you're not in the right situation. I can tell you that this type of thinking nearly cost me my wife and family. And I believe its the reason that the divorce rate is at an all time high. I know in my heart that at one time, my wife no longer believed we were meant to be together. And this was completely my fault, because I had taken her for granted. I did not treat her with the respect she deserves, I did not give her the credit for doing all the things she does as a wife and mother. Since accepting Jesus into my heart, and reading the "Owner's Manual", or the Bible for those of you who dont have the pleasure of listening to Barry preach, I have found a much truer, deeper love for my wife. Because, Jesus was the ultimate example of love, and as Christians we should all strive to be as close to Him as we can! I have learned that true love, Godly love, isn't supposed to be some "fairytale". You've never talked to a couple whos been married for 50, 60, 70 years and heard them talk about how perfect its all been. They speak about "working at it, working together, and loving each other through the difficult times." My definition of true love now is, loving someone with all of your heart, soul, body, and mind, loving them when its easy, as well as when times are hard, loving someone so much that you are willing to fight through adversity with them, not quit and run to find someone else more perfect, or "easier to deal with." There has only been one perfect person to walk the face of this Earth ever, so I'd say your chances of finding a perfect spouse are pretty slim, dont you think?!? To truly love your wife, I feel that even though you love them different than you love your children, you should love her with the same conviction and effort that you love your children. If your children are difficult to live with at times, or aggravate you at times, or do things that you dont approve of, or make mistakes, or just get to a point as teenagers (which im nowhere near ready for!) that they dont like or agree with how you are raising them, you dont just throw in the towel, and say, "Thats it, I cant do this anymore! Im going to find some different kids who are easier to live with!" I know, that sounds ridiculous and proposterous! But people do it to their spouses every single day! What if Jesus had decided, "You know what, you people just wont listen, your too difficult, Im tired of trying this hard for you all!" Where would we be if He didnt love us unconditionally the way he did! Not somewhere I'd want to be! I believe if we spent more time reading and learning the Bible, and a little less time with Walt Disney, we might realize that their is no perfect fairytale life, and God expects you to have enough respect for you wife, to work at your relationship, and to fight to keep her. The way Jesus loved us, worked for us, fought for us, and eventually died to save us! This is our ultimate example of true love! It wasnt easy, or perfect, or trouble free. Far from it! I can tell you I have several great examples in my family of true love. I could tell you about my Ma-Ma and Pa-Pa, or Gramma and Grampa Fosdick, or Robbie and Judy Carroll, or, well, I could name many. But my biggest influences, easily my Mother and Father. Now I know what youre probably thinking, "Rick, they got divorced 25 years ago! This is your example?!?!" Wow, I feel old after typing that last sentence, ouch. Ok, back on topic!! Yes, my Mom and Dad, because they have told me forever, the biggest mistake they made in their marriage was that they didnt fight for each other. They are both remarried now, living their lives in true Christian relationships, while always keeping God in the center of their marriages. See, they have not only shown me what not to do, but how to do it the right way as well! I will be the first person to tell you, that there are times when no person on this earth could drive me as batty as my wife can! But she is my wife, the mother of my children, and my partner for life. I love her with all of my being. As I said earlier, there has only ever been one perfect person to walk this Earth, and it certainly wasnt me! I still argue with my wife over silly things, and we certainly dont get along all the time, or agree all the time. But I know that she is who I will be with for the rest of my life. I know that when she is gone, i feel empty. She truly was designed by God to complete me, and I am so thankful everyday that the Lord opened my eyes to allow me to see it. I vow to respect her enough as the woman God made for me, to fight for her, to love her unconditionally, to never give up on her, or walk out on her. I believe people who have been around us long enough, can see a difference in the way Sutherland and I live together, talk to each other, and work together to raise our girls in a Christian home. Of course, I constantly have to remind myself to calm down, respect her, fight for her, etc., because the Devil will always try to take your joy from you. He does this by trying to get you to love yourself more than others. But remember, God will always win! Keep him centered in your relationship, and the Devil can do nothing to destroy what God has his hands on!! So, if you can take all this into consideration, think about our ultimate example of love, Jesus Christ, and all he did for us, and ask youself this question again, "Do you love your wife?" See the question a little differently now? I hope this gives some of you different perspective, or a whole new outlook on love, or maybe just piques your interest enough to open your Bible and learn more about God's expectations of you. In any case, thank you for reading this, and go tell your wife you love her, fight FOR HER, not WITH HER! Love you guys. Thanks for your time.

I LOVE YOU SUTHERLAND!
           -Rick
P.S. - I suppose any of you wives reading this could change "wife" to "husband", but Im no preacher, and cant give all perspectives. All I know how to speak on is my perspective, which is to speak about loving my wife.

Have you made a difference for God today?

Have you made a difference for God today? A simple 8 word question, yet when it is really looked at, can completely change your outlook on how you're living your life. Our Preacher at Carolina's Cornerstone Baptist Church gave us this question, and told us to ask this of ourselves before we lay our heads down to sleep each night. How you answer it makes all the difference in our Creator's eyes. In the grand scheme of things, which is to say in God's plan, not our laughable plans for what we should be doing, the only things you can do each day of your life that have any significant meaning are things that will outlast you when you are gone. Earning extra money to buy earthly possessions, or playing softball games, or anything you do for fun, entertainment, etc. are ultimately meaningless if you are not doing them to glorify God and make disciples out of nonbelievers. If you are not living your life to glorify God in everything you do, then you are not living the way the Bible tells us we are supposed to be. In everything we do as Christians, we should be striving to show the people around us that there is something different about us, and so they may open the door to ask, "Why do you live this way? Why do you have such joy in your life? How do you deal with problems that arise with such calmness and confidence?" Questions such as these give us the opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They give us the opportunity to tell others about how we were saved, why we know and believe everything will be ok because it is all a part of a true Loving God's plan. But if we live like hypocrites, by going to church on Sunday, and saying the right things, and praising God, and assuming that that is enough, and then putting God away in his box we keep him in Monday-Saturday, then we are robbing the people around us of the greatest gift a human being can ever recieve- Grace! The Bible says that we as Christians are responsible for the non-believers that we come in contact with every single day. And one day we will be asked why we didnt help the people around us, why we didnt spread the Gospel, why we didnt do as we were commanded to do. Now, I know you may be thinking, "Im not the right person for that. There are better people for that job, who will know what to say, how to say it, or are more qualified than I am." But God never calls on qualified people to do a job. He calls upon the unqualified, and qualifies them! I went on a mission trip with 101 other people from our church to Savannah, Ga. a few weeks ago. I wanted to go because my Mother and Stepdad told me i was going, and talked about it for months afterwards. I decided pretty quickly I was going, because they seemed to really help people fix up their homes and such, and Ive always been a hard worker, and figured I could do some good down there with them. I didn't plan on doing and of the "God" stuff. I was going to work hard, fix some stuff in houses, and let other more "qualified" people take care of the "God" stuff. But I learned what Preacher Barry has been  telling us for a while, which is you just have to be available when God calls, invest time in people's lives, and God will take care of the "God" stuff! He's the only one who can! He will give you the words when you need them, he will show you the open door to step into, and when you listen, it becomes so simple, and feels so easy that you forget all about those silly thoughts you had about "Someone else doing it." The other thing I learned was more of a decision at a crossroad. During our devotions one night, Barry gave us all a rock. He asked us to bow our heads, close our eyes, and ask ourselves, "What is holding you back, and keeping you from being the Christian you are supposed to be?" He then said "This rock in your hands represents whatever it is holding you back, if you feel moved to do so, I call you to bring your rock forward, put whatever is holding you back in that rock, and drop it in this washtub, and free yourself to be the Christian God designed you to be!" For me it was very simple. Pride! I am always too proud to stand up and speak for the Lord, or in the name of the Lord. I didnt want people to look at me like one of those "weird Godly people" or something. Typing this now, it seems so silly. But I dropped my rock in that bucket. A little while later our 13 person Mission Team was meeting, and I felt moved to say what I had learned in the last few days, and thank them for allowing me to be a part. Before, I would have just let other people talk, because i do not like talking in front of people at all! A step in the right direction I thought! The next day we were doing devotionals again, and Barry left a microphone in front of the church for people to tell what the trip meant to them so far. A hundred people? No way Im talking to that many people! But I felt moved to tell them what I had learned, and I had just told God I wasnt going to be too proud to speak about him, so nervously, I walked in front of all those people, and spoke my peace. And felt amazing afterwards! Another stepping stone came on Sunday, when Preacher Barry called me in front of the entire church congregation to say what I said on that day in Savannah. I was looking around, surely he's talking to a different Rick, right? But one more time, I put my pride down, walked to the front, and spoke. And the latest step on my journey is starting this blog. Ive always got things on my mind that Id like to share, but never do. This blog is going to be just one more way for me to try to tell my stories, talk about what our Lord Jesus has done for me and my family. My hope is, that someone will hear or read what Ive had to say, and think to themselves, maybe I need to look at my relationship with God. Maybe I need to make some changes in my life as well. Maybe Im not living my life the way God has commanded me to. Or the big one, I dont know Jesus, but I want to know him! And if they make a decision to make a change in their life, then they will be able to lay their head down on their pillow to rest that day, as I am able to do now, and proclaim, "Yes, I did make a difference for God today!"
-Rick